Hutch pulled the new white LTD up in front of Brown's Burger Emporium and Starsky did a double take. He recognized it as the old location for Huggy's Pit.

"What happened to the Pits?"

"Someone decided they didn't like how much information was being sifted through the place and they decided it was time for some remodeling. They torched it 4 years ago. Huggy lost his youngest son in the fire. We caught the arsonist, but he chose to do time rather then turn over his boss."

"Huggy had a son?" Starsky wondered if there would ever be an end to the suffering the three men had endured.

"Two." Hutch smiled. "Would you believe Huggy named his sons after us? The eldest is Kenny who's 7, and the youngest.. David. David was put to rest in Laureland. He was almost 2 when he died. You'd have loved him, he was very mischievous, just like his namesake. They just had a daughter a year ago, her name is Tasha."

They sat in silence for a minute and Starsky put his hand over his heart. This was the first he'd heard he had a namesake, and he'd died before he could meet him.

"They rebuilt pretty quick. Some of us got together and helped swing a hammer on our days off. They didn't rebuild the upstairs apartment though. Huggy was afraid it wouldn't be good for his wife. She hasn't been the same since. She was burned trying to get him out. She's physically ok now, but she has her ups and downs."

"Think Huggy is up to seeing me?"

"I think you'd be a site for sore eyes for him." Hutch paused. "The night Dobey called to tell me that there was a strong possibility that you'd bought it in Somalia, Huggy and I went on a 2 day binge. We made each other promise that we'd do it again if.. when.. you turned up. Buddy, have you got a bender to look forward to.."

"Uh.. I don't drink anymore. With the last decade.." he swallowed, "It's been hell Hutch, sheer hell. It made being a cop look like a dance in the park on a Saturday afternoon. I didn't stay in Recon, like I started."

Hutch had a feeling he knew where Starsky had been, but didn't let on. He knew Starsky's firearms training and Police marksmanship awards wouldn't keep him in Recon long. Neither of them thought of that when the Colonel officially invited Starsky to rejoin the Army to lead an elite Recon task force. It had been Dobey that brought up the possibility that he'd be a hired gun. Starsky's new superior had called Dobey six months after he enlisted for his second tour of duty to ask some personal questions which tipped him off to the Army's real motives for getting Starsky back. It was the first time he could remember seeing Dobey tie one on.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, or it can wait until later." Hutch pat his partner's leg. "C'mon, let's go cheer up a Bear."

The two men climbed out of the shiny new LTD and Starsky gave it a once over.

"About time you got some classy wheels."

"It's the departments. I still have the same car.."

"That thing's gotta be 15 years old!"

"18." Hutch smiled and waited for the other shoe to drop but it didn't. He was surprised when he wasn't asked about the Torino. "I still have your Torino too."

Starsky thought back, "It's 11 years old, is it safe for you to drive?"

The question threw Hutch enough that he stopped walking. When Starsky had been offered an officers job in the military, he'd packed up his valuables and sent them to his mother. He sold everything else, except the Torino and asked Hutch to care for it. It was his most prized possession, and now it appeared Starsky no longer had value for it nor had he seen it in his future. He wondered how much time had changed Starsky and wondered if any of it was for the better.

"Who says I drive it?" He jogged a few steps and caught up to Starsky.

"What else would you drive when your rattle-trap is broken?"

The men entered the building and it took a few minutes for them to adjust to the dim lighting inside. A woman's voice was heard across the room calling Hutch's name.

"Yolonda," He called back. "I have someone I'd like you to meet."

Apparently he needed no introduction, the woman called out Starsky's name next. "I'd recognize that face anywhere. Huggy's pictures on the mantle, he's always got one of you two. My, my.. Huggy's going to be thrilled to see you." And with that she threw her arms around Starsky. Hutch noticed that he did not return the embrace immediately.

"Hello, Mrs. Brown." He hoped he'd assumed right. Hutch nodded.

"Yolonda, please..

They continued the small talk as she led them to a quiet table in the back of the dining area. She took their orders for Huggy specials, and headed off for the kitchen.

"Is that little Yolonda, the 17 year old, with the big mother and the even bigger frying pan.. from Huggy's old neighborhood?" Starsky remembered her as barely 5' tall, with a big crush on Huggy. She had definitely developed.

"The same." Hutch remembered the frying pan too. She'd left a welt the size of Rhode Island on Huggy's head after he took her home from his bar. He tried to explain that Yolonda had come in with a fake ID and he was just delivering her home, but her mother would hear nothing of it.

The sound of crashing dishes came from the kitchen and stopped their conversation. Huggy Bear ran into the dining area with great alarm.

"Hutch, Starsky? Where are you?" Other diners looked up at the agitated man interrupting their lunch.

"Over here, Hug." Hutch motioned with his arm.

Starsky stood as the lanky man rushed over. Huggy threw his arms around him and squeezed, squeezed so hard he began to panic. Hutch could see it in Starsky's eyes.

"Do you know how many times I prayed that I'd get the chance to do this again? Too many." Huggy released his grip, but didn't let go of Starsky's arms. "Now how about you explaining why you didn't keep in touch. Almost 10 years and not a postcard, not one! I should pitch you outta here on your ear." Huggy was angry, but he hadn't quit smiling.

"Some things are better left unsaid Hug. But I'm home now. Maybe we can do some catching up soon?" Starsky removed himself from Huggy's grip. Huggy didn't seem to notice the agitation of being held.

"Sure.. MMmm, Mmm, Mmmm, Starsky is home. And all in once piece." Huggy looked at Hutch, "About time, don't you think?"

"Absolutely." Hutch looked at Starsky, "Hey, where are you staying? Want to come to my place? I'm back at the house on the canal. The couple that bought it from me defaulted so I bought it back. I added another room and a greenhouse. There's plenty of room."

"I hate to leave you fine gentleman, especially since the guest of honor has finally graced us with his presence, but my cook is probably planning my execution for knocking over the dinner dishes. I gotta have them ready, again, for the dinner crowd. Starsky.. dinner.. my house.. next Monday. Be there! I won't take no for an answer. Hutch, you too." Before either man could answer, Huggy left for the kitchen.

Starsky looked at his watch, 5 days. He wondered if he'd make it. He started absentmindedly started picked at the edging around the table.

The smothering hug had definitely affected Starsky, Hutch thought. "What is it Starsk?"

"Nothin'." He paused, "I was hoping you'd ask. I don't have a place to stay yet. My living quarters aren't quiet what I expected, so I checked out. You sure you don't mind?"

Hutch wondered if, after living in jungles, deserts, and forests for weeks on end, if Starsky had developed a liking to the great outdoors. Outdoors, he almost snickered. He hated camping, and no amount of training was going to change that.

"Of course, you shouldn't have to ask that. 10 years or not, you're still my best friend. We've been too close for too long for me to forget."

"That's why I came back here. I had to see you again. I thought about going back to New York, but.. it just isn't home anymore, especially now that Ma is gone. And Nicky.. well.. He's disowned me. Isn't that a laugh?"

Hutch had attended her funeral. Starsky had been on a mission and unreachable, and Jewish tradition demanded that she buried as soon as possible. He wouldn't have made it home in time, even if he had been notified. The Army had sent flowers in his name. Nick Starsky had caused a scene about him not showing up to his own mother's funeral by throwing the large bouquet across the room and nearly hitting the casket. Hutch had gone because he had fond memories of Rachel Starsky and he'd hoped to see his partner again. He had to settle for the two boxes of Starsky's valuables instead. He'd grown close to Rachel many years ago through Starsky's Friday evening phone call. When he left for the Army, Hutch continued his partner's Friday tradition. Initially, he called trying to find out where Starsky was, but later kept it up after he realized that he looked forward to talking with her.

Yolonda arrived with their lunches. Both men thanked their hostess, then looked at the overflowing plates of food and started eating silently.

Starsky was grateful Hutch hadn't asked anymore questions. He wasn't ready to admit where he'd been staying the last year. He'd tell him eventually, but this wasn't the time. This was supposed to be a happy reunion.

"Do we need to gather your belongings or are they in your car?"

"Everything I have is with me." ..I'm not going back for anything. Starsky thought. "I took the bus to the station. I joined empty handed, and guess I'm coming back empty handed. I have money, it's just a matter of getting things in order."

"No rush. You can stay with me as long as you like." Hutch smiled. He liked the idea of Starsky staying with him, give them a chance to catch up, although he wondered if the catching up would all be rosy. Starsky had definitely lost some of his zest for life. Hutch sized him up again. "I think I have some stuff you can wear. I've put on a pound or two, and you seem to have lost the same. But I think I can cover you, so to speak."

Starsky finished half of his burger and just a small portion of the fries before he pushed the plate away. Hutch looked at the plate, then at Starsky.

"You not feeling well?"

"I can't remember a time when I finished a meal since Gunther. Not in Recon, not in Search & Rescue, and certainly not after I went to Clean-up."

Hutch's heart fell into his stomach and he laid his burger down. Gunther! Hutch had finally managed to forget, but had guessed that Starsky hadn't had a day in his life since Gunther tried to kill him that he had forgotten. "Clean-up." He whispered. How could he have gone from an elite Army Recon team to ending up cleaning up botched missions? Wasn't that CIA?

Starsky caught the look on Hutch's face. "Guess Dobey didn't hear that part. I went to Clean-up after Somalia. Only two of us came out of there alive. I guess they figured if I didn't waste myself like the rookie did, then I could handle Clean-up."

Hutch opened the door to his house and let his guest enter first. Starsky hesitated, but entered. He closed the door and the room engulfed in darkness. He turned on the lights and noticed Starsky with his back to the wall. Clean-up, Hutch cursed silently and wondered if there was a tornado lurking behind the silent paranoia.

"Care for a beer? Sorry.. Root beer?" Hutch threw his suit jacket over the back of a dining room chair and headed for the fridge. He grabbed two root beers and popped the caps. He handed one to Starsky, who remained against the wall.

"Would you mind if I took a shower?" It had been a long time since he'd had a normal day, and today had been near perfect. Starsky emotions where threatening to boil over. The excuse of a shower would give him the privacy he needed for a few moments.

"Of course not. Do you remember where it is?" Hutch pointed right. "The second bedroom is that way too, I'll have it made up for you by the time you get out. Where did you get in from? Are you jet legged? Anything I can do for you, just holler."

A wave of comforting familiarity washed over Starsky and he headed to the bathroom without answering. He was afraid his voice would give his emotions away. He shut the door and turned on the tap at the sink, then splashed his face. A little more in control, he answered, "I was in San Diego for.." He hadn't thought of what he should say, "debriefing. So, I'm ok. Thanks."

Hutch stood near the bathroom door. Even apart this long, he knew his partner was on the edge of tears. Then he wondered not if there was a tornado lurking, but how big was it going to be. He put his head and hand on the door silently and closed his eyes. When the sink was turned off and the shower turned on, he left to make up the spare bedroom.

Starsky undressed and stepped in the hot shower. New scars covered old. He leaned against the wall and let the water flow over his chest. He slowly sank to the bottom and allowed the water to flow over his face. Slowly, he started crying, the tears came slow at first, then unleashed like flood waters.

Hutch heard the crying begin and went to the door, clean sheets still in hand. He listened for a moment but thought it wasn't a good idea to barge in. After all, they had been apart for 10 years. But when the cries turned to outright sobs, he couldn't stand it any longer. He dropped the sheets at the door and went in. As he pushed the curtain aside, he wasn't surprised to see his friend sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees. "Oh Starsk.."

As soon as Starsky heard the comforting voice say his name, he reached out his arms and embraced his friend. The tears continued to flow until he had nothing left to give and he slipped off into a long overdue slumber. Hutch turned off the water which was quickly turning cold and managed to soak his dress shirt, gun, and holster in the process. He carefully pulled his sleeping friend from the tub. Starsky didn't utter a sound as Hutch managed to tug him to the bed in the spare bedroom. The old sheets would have to do until later. It wasn't until then that he saw scars he didn't remember. He started to touch the slash on his left ribcage, then saw the burns on his calves and stopped. God, what had he endured over the last decade? He wiped the tears from his own eyes.

Hutch grabbed the blanket and began to pull it over the sleeping man. When the blanket dragged over the wet foot, Starsky leaped out of bed and on the floor in near silence. The action startled Hutch so much that he'd spun and grabbed his Magnum and had it ready. He turned back around to Starsky who was wide eyed and breathing heavy against the floor.

"Starsk? You ok?" He put the Magnum back in the holster.

"What's going on?"

"You tell me, I started to pull the blanket over you and you bolted out of bed. Startled me enough to pull my gun."

"The blanket.." he paused. "I uh.. don't sleep very well anymore."

Hutch's heart sunk again. He hadn't fallen asleep in the shower, he'd passed out! His friend, a man who once slept through a 5.4 earthquake, was so skittish that the simple act of pulling a blanket over him would send him to the floor.

Starsky looked at himself and started to say something when the phone rang.

"I'll get it. There's some pajamas in the dresser," Hutch pointed at the dresser behind him as he left the room. The phone was on it's third ring when he got to it. "Hutchinson."

Starsky crept up behind Hutch and put his hand over his mouth as he turned the receiver so that they could both hear from it.

"Hutch, it's Harold Dobey."

Starsky hissed in Hutch's ear. Hutch, for the first time, was afraid of his partner. He didn't think he'd kill him, but it was obvious there was something he didn't know. Starsky lifted his hand enough for Hutch to speak, but not far enough away that he couldn't put it back immediately.

"Hello Captain."

"Captain.. How long you going to continue to call me that, Captain?

"Habit.. What's up? How's the family?" Hutch continued, "Heard anything about Starsky lately?"

Starsky hissed.

"That's why I called. I found out where he'd been for last year, but it seems he's escaped."

Starsky hissed again and Hutch felt his holster being pushed into his side by Starsky's elbow. He doubted Starsky had lost any of his reflexes in the last 10 years and had no intent on testing him.

"What do you mean, escaped?" He was afraid to continue this line, but apparently he'd passed this part of the test, Starsky didn't hiss.

"Starsky has been in a V.A. mental health lock-down facility in San Diego until last night. He somehow managed to gather his personal effects and skip town. The admissions department thinks he may have found his gun but aren't sure. Seems after patients are admitted as long as Starsky, their larger effects disappear. They're not sure if he's armed or if his gun is just missing. Have you seen him?"

The pressure against his holster increased. "No, Captain. I haven't. I'm relieved he's still alive though." The pressure relaxed slightly.

"That makes two of us."

"Any idea what's on his mind? Did he just release himself on his own recognizance or is he on a mission?" The pressure increased to almost unbearable, and Starsky hissed. Hutch winced silently.

"They don't know. Just said that he'd made great strides lately, but something set him off about a week ago, then he up and vanished. They did say he was probably armed and dangerous. They also let it slip that he'd spent the last 6 months in some desert terrain as a sniper."

Hutch closed his eyes. A sniper.. He did take some comfort in the fact that Starsky would never kill without justification. He'd break a lot of rocks in the stockade before he killed without cause. Starsky shook the receiver between their heads signaling time to hang up.

Dobey continued, "Son, I'm scared for him. If he's wandering around with a sniper's mentality, someone's going to take him down. I don't mind telling you, the two of you couldn't be anymore my sons if Edith had carried you herself. If you hear from him, get him some help, ok?"

Starsky swallowed, then shook the receiver again.

"Ok Captain. I'll do my best. I need to go.."

"I'm sorry, they said you left because weren't feeling well. You ok?"

"Yes Captain, more a case of spring fever." Starsky shook the receiver. "Thanks for calling. I'll keep my ears open for details. Good Night."

"Good Night."

Hutch hung up the phone and raised his arms in plain sight. "Ok? All I want to do is talk."

"Ok. I'm sorry, but that was the call I was afraid of. I wanted to be the one to tell you, but for a while, I could almost convince myself that we were still partners. I didn't want to let you down."

"Starsk, you could never let me down." He thought about the sniper comment, and hoped that Starsky hadn't. "You're my best friend in the world, even now. All I want is for you to be well."

"You heard him, you know what a sniper is.. I didn't want you to know that, I'm not proud of it. The subjects were.." Starsky's voice trailed off.

"I know you wouldn't kill without reason." Hutch turned to face him and was reminded that his guest was still naked. "Would you like to put some clothes on before we talk?"

Starsky seemed not to care but decided it was making Hutch uncomfortable. He walked over to the phone and unplugged it in one deft move. Taking the phone with him, he ushered Hutch into the spare bedroom first, then followed him.

Hutch pointed at the dresser. "Ok?"

Starsky stepped to the side of the dresser so he could see Hutch's hands, then nodded. Hutch pulled out a pair of black sweats with BCPD stenciled in yellow on the hip. As Starsky unfolded them, he saw his old badge number stenciled beneath the yellow shield. They were more worn then he remembered, Hutch had probably been wearing them. A lump formed in his throat, but he tried to show no emotion as he put them on.

"You want a shirt?" Starsky shook his head. Hutch continued, "Want to talk here, at the kitchen table, on the couch?"

Starsky pointed to the hallway and Hutch started out of the room. "The table."

Hutch recognized that he was choosing the option that gave him the best view of his adversary and kept a barrier between them. Adversary.. had he become that? No, he knew that Starsky had had enough hand to hand combat training to have killed him without so much as breaking a sweat when he snuck up behind him on the phone. If he'd wanted him dead, he'd be dead already. Besides, he still had his gun! Hutch flipped on the lights, then pulled out two chairs at the kitchen table and sat down in the one closest to the garage door.

Starsky closed the kitchen blinds, then pointed at the chair behind the table, against the wall.

Hutch slid over without comment. He may have spent a year in the hospital, but he hasn't forgotten how to play the game, he thought. Might as well get to the point. He thought of Starsky's effects on the bathroom floor. "Are you armed?"

"Will Dobey call Huggy?" Starsky ignored Hutch's question.

"I doubt it. Huggy and Dobey had a falling out over the fire at the Pits. Huggy thought Dobey didn't put enough manpower on his case after his son died, and Dobey thought Huggy asked for too much. The arsonist had already been caught, there wasn't much anyone could do at that point, short of bamboo under his fingernails." After he said it, he instantly regretted the bamboo comment. Clean-up crews were notorious for using controversial methods to gain information to complete the clean-up. "I don't think they talk anymore. Dobey probably assumes I'm calling Huggy now."

"Yes and no." Starsky answered the previous question as he put the phone on the counter. He sat across from Hutch. "I know where it is, but didn't think it would be best to carry it around since I am an escaped mental patient. I didn't want to get plugged by a nervous rookie."

"Are you on a mission?" Hutch hoped he wasn't.

"I guess that depends on if you think I'm insane or not." He laid his arms together palms up on the table and Hutch leaned forward to take his hands. Starsky jerked his arms back but paused. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I know you've been through Hell. I don't know how to touch you where I won't set you off."

"You do think I'm insane." Starsky whispered.

"No.. I think you've seen things, and been asked to do things that no one has a right to ask you."

"You have no idea." Starsky had relaxed enough to put his head down. "I've seen more death in the last 2 years then you and Dobey's careers combined. More then I saw in Viet Nam. Children, they're the worst."

Hutch looked on but couldn't speak.

"All I want is.. a fresh start." He looked up slowly testing whether he could look Hutch in the eyes. He was met with a disarming smile. He sat forward and put his arms back on the table, wiggling his fingers enticing Hutch to take his hand. "Are you going to turn me in?"

"I should, but as long as you're not a threat to anyone's safety, I won't." Hutch took his hands and at first Starsky flinched. Against better judgment, he held on, not letting his hands go. "Is there anything I need to know about your escape? Did you hurt anyone? Am I putting my badge at risk by letting you stay here?"

"No, I simply put a stool softener in the guard's coffee. Well, a lot of stool softener. He's probably still in the latrine." Starsky smiled. "When he left the desk, I used a wooden ruler to reach through the window and push the gate button. The gate opened, and I walked down to admitting. It was nearly midnight, so there was no one around. I took the metal edge off the ruler and picked the lock on the locker. I only took back my own stuff, nothing else. I even made sure it was locked when I left. Then I walked to the bus stop and took it to the Greyhound station. You know the rest."

"Not quite. Where is your gun?"

"I can't tell you that.. yet." Starsky tried to take his hands back, but again Hutch wouldn't let him go. "Please don't ask me to give it up."

"Starsk, as long as you have it, you'll be considered armed and dangerous, which gives the police reason to fear for their lives. That makes shooting you justifiable. You know this."

"Even if I give it up, they'll still think I'm dangerous. I'm justifiable either way. You know that."

"Look at me Starsk," Hutch waited for him to meet his gaze. "You have to get help, you have to promise me you'll get help."

Starsky ripped his hands out of Hutch's grip. "I don't know if I can stand anymore help. All they want to do is make sure I give the right answers to the right questions. They don't care if I need help or not."

"No, private help. We can get someone local, not a VA doctor. I know a wonderful Doc." His partner hadn't made eye contact with him in a few minutes so Hutch decided he was no longer considered a threat. He stood up and walked around to his partner who was still seated. He knelt before him. "Please, I'm on my knees. You are going to fall apart if you don't get things sorted out. If that happens, someone will take you down." Hutch had tears in his eyes. He took his pinky and looped it through Starsky's pinky. "It's time for Me and Thee, partner. Who do you trust?"

The answer was nearly inaudible. "You."

Hutch lifted his partner's head to look him in the eyes. "Can you do this for me?"

Starsky tried to talk, but nothing would come out. He had to settle for a nod.

"Bed time." Hutch continued to gaze into Starsky's eyes. "Will you promise me that you won't hurt anyone, especially me and yourself?"

Again, he nodded.

"Will you promise me you'll be here in the morning?" He had to lift Starsky's head again to see his eyes.

Hutch tossed and turned in bed for most of the night. He wondered how long it had been since Starsky had slept through an entire night. He remembered back to the time when Starsky had introduced him to the Colonel. The Colonel seemed like a genuine man then, but looking back, he thought he could see through him. The man was looking for a government assassin. Why didn't he see it then? Why a cop? A cop with a cop's bloodline? Starsky's father was shot down in the line of duty himself. Both men had impeccable reputations as dedicated police officers. That was all in his police file, surely.

How could Starsky have gone along with it? That's what puzzled him most. His partner used to wear his heart on his sleeve. How had it turned to ice? He once bought a pet rock for crying out loud.. the rock! He'd gone under as a vigilante, complete with busting Hutch in the chops as a cover. They'd busted half a dozen police men for killing scum that got off on technicalities. Had his cover as a vigilante been bought by the brass too? He testified against the dirty cops, how could they have bought it? No, that probably wasn't it.

Hutch looked at the clock, 4:37am. Deciding he wasn't going to get any more sleep, he kicked the covers off and put his feet on the floor. He sat forward and put his face in his hands and leaned on his knees. Would he ever get answers? He figured he'd get just enough to raise more questions. With a sigh, he left his bedroom.

He went to the kitchen, walking slowly past Starsky's room to see if he was awake. There was no sound. He flipped the light switch on in the kitchen and proceeded to make coffee. Better make it strong, it was going to be a long day. When he was finished, he took the unplugged phone from the counter and put it back in the living room. Starsky hadn't broken the plug, so he plugged it back in. He went to the desk and pulled out his address book from the center drawer and started flipping pages. He'd seen a psychiatrist after Starsky had been shot down in the police garage. He hadn't told Starsky since he hadn't seen her for long, but she'd done wonders for him. Maybe she'd be able to crack his armor. Barton, Benson, Berringer.. Dr. Jamie Berringer. He picked up the receiver and started dialing.

"Hello?" She sounded more awake then he expected, but he suspected that like crime, breakdowns didn't happen 9-5.

"Dr. Berringer, this is Captain Hutchinson."

"Hutch, are you ok? It's awful early."

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm terribly sorry to awaken you at this ungodly hour, but I need your help."

"Of course, what can I do for you?" Her sleep heavy voice made her sound even older then she was.

"Do you remember when I came to see you, I had a partner who'd been gunned down?"

"Yes, he left for an Army position didn't he? Star.. Starsky."

"Can I count on your silence?" Hutch asked.

She thought a moment, "Yes."

"He walked out of a Veterans mental facility in San Diego yesterday. He's been through a lot, Doc. Can you come here? I'd like to keep him off the streets. The VA thinks he's armed and dangerous, but he's not armed, he gave me his word."

"Can you believe that?" She asked without an accusatory tone.

"I trusted this man with my life for 12 years. I believe him now. Do you think you can get his records from the VA in San Diego without raising flags?"

"Maybe. One of my former secretaries, Lisa, married and moved to San Diego, she works at the VA now."

"If you think it will raise any flags, let it go. I need to see if my name and address is in it. I need to know if they'll be coming here looking for him. I'd prefer not to move him if I don't have to."

The light in the spare bedroom came on and Hutch lowered his voice. "Come over as soon as possible please, 2007 Canal Street." He didn't wait for a reply before hanging up. He turned towards the spare bedroom only to find Starsky standing behind him and he startled.

"Don't do that Hutch."

"What? You startled me, I tend to jump. Coffee?"

"You lowered your voice when you knew I was awake. If I'm to trust you, I need to know you're not plotting behind my back."

"I'm sorry." Hutch went to the kitchen with Starsky on his heels. They sat at the table and Hutch explained what he'd whispered.

"Did he agree to silence?"

Hutch realized that he'd heard the whole conversation and wondered if he'd slept at all. He was also wearing one of Hutch's T-shirts that he hadn't gone to bed with, so he had to have been up long enough to look through his dresser. "She, and yes she did. I wouldn't have called her if I thought she wouldn't follow direction. She helped me get past the guilt I felt when Gunther gunned you down. I trust her."

"I didn't know." Starsky got up to get coffee mugs. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were so depressed about the shooting, whether you could be a cop again, and if Gunther would try again from his jail cell.. I couldn't heap more on you. Then the Colonel came along and offered you an officer's position.. He whisked you away so fast, it just never came up."

"I was an idiot." He filled the mugs and brought them to the table. Starsky thought back to the time when he'd been shot four times in the chest and gut by an assassin in a police uniform. He was so afraid that he wouldn't qualify to return to active duty, that when the Colonel came along, he jumped at the chance. It meant leaving Hutch behind, but he'd always known Hutch would be promoted without him. Hutch had always refused to take the Lieutenant's exam because it would end their partnership, and he didn't have the education necessary to be a police Lieutenant. Joining the Army would also do the one thing that was paramount, it would also put him beyond the reach of James Gunther. There had already been 3 known attempts on their lives, maybe more. He had no reason to think the grey-bar Hilton was going to slow the old man who hated him more then freedom.

"Neither of us knew. You're not to blame about what happened. But.." Hutch stopped, wishing he'd stopped faster. He tried to take a sip of the coffee, but it was too hot and it burned his tongue.

"But what?"

"But.." Hutch looked down and stirred his coffee, "How could you go along with it?"

Starsky swallowed the scorching hot coffee without so much as a grimace. He couldn't look at his partner either. "Along with what? Clean-up? Or sitting out in the hills in a ghillie suit, killing little kids from the mountains? Picking them off one by one?"

Hutch looked up and his mouth fell open, but he couldn't speak. Children.. That tornado was getting bigger and bigger.

"They had bombs strapped to their bodies, Hutch. Little girls, some not big enough to ride a bicycle.. They'd wander into our platoon and blow up. Always girls. Girls had no social value over there. Fathers would wire them up and send them into our camp.." His voice drifted off. "The little girls were told to go play with the soldiers. I either had to kill them before they reached the camp or let them blow up my men. I'd heard stories about the Viet Cong doing such a thing, but hadn't seen it.." He trailed off again.

Hutch felt like he weighed a thousand pounds. He wanted to comfort his friend but couldn't move.

Starsky continued, "I woke up in the hospital last week, and the cutest little girl I ever saw was standing next to my bed. You cant imagine the terror that ran through my blood. Never."

The weight lifted enough for Hutch to put his hand on the table and wiggle his fingers. Starsky laid his coffee cup on the table and took his hand.

"You're right. I'll never know. But you don't have to go through it alone anymore. Why didn't you call me when you reached San Diego? I'd have come down on the next flight."

"I tried.. but I couldn't face you knowing what I'd done. I couldn't even put your name on my visitors list."

"Did you kill any of those kids because you wanted to, or did you do it to protect the lives of others?" Hutch squeezed Starsky's hand.

"You know I wouldn't kill for sport. I hated it, every bit of it." Starsky yelled. He stood up and started pacing. "I had to get out of there. Major Thompson told me I had to wait it out in the hills another 6 weeks before we would be relieved. I couldn't do it, I couldn't shoot another baby. I don't remember it, but they said I came up behind him and put my knife under his throat. A couple of Sergeants drug me off of him. They said for three days I sat in a corner and wouldn't speak, eat, or sleep. I don't remember.. First I was shipped to Bombay India for a physical, then Tokyo for evaluation and spent a month or so there. Then they sent me to San Diego."

"Is the military going to be looking for you?"

"If they were, you'd have known about it before I showed up at the station. You're listed as my next of kin. My time was up when I was in Tokyo. I saw my release papers then, but I don't know where they are now. They weren't in my effects when I left San Diego." Starsky sat back down at the table.

"Do you have knowledge they're afraid you might spill?"

"The knowledge of the missions I was on.. but nothing specific that I can think of. Besides, they think I'm suffering from memory loss. I really don't remember attacking the Major, but that's the only thing I don't remember. For the last couple of months, I've talked about nothing but my life in New York and Bay City. They seemed pleased."

A knock at the door startled both men and Starsky panicked.

"Starsk, relax. It's just the doctor." Hutch put his hand on the alarmed man's shoulder and the alarm subsided a bit.

Starsky stood behind the door and motioned with a 'gab' gesture to ask who it was.

"Who is it?" Hutch put his hand on the knob and waited for a reply.

"Doc. Jamie Berringer"

Hutch opened the door and received a warm hug from the short brunette. She looked every bit of her 45 years old. "Doc, I'd like you to meet my part.. my former partner, Captain David Starsky."

"I'm no longer active military. Dave will do." Starsky closed the door and extended his hand to the doctor.

Dr.Berringer took his hand in both of hers and shook it, but didn't release it. It was a test to see how agitated or paranoid her patient might be. "How do you do? I'm Jamie."

"Hello Jamie. Nice to meet you." Starsky lightly pulled at his hand.

"Hutch says you were assigned to the San Diego VA hospital."

Starsky looked at Hutch, "Assigned, nice way to put it. Yes, I was locked up at the VA funny farm." Starsky pulled his hand again, she didn't relent.

"Everyone struggles with something Dave." She held on as he began to pull harder. "I'm here to see if I can help you with those struggles."

"Please," his voice wavered. "Don't do this. Please let go."

When she still didn't release his hand, he turned to Hutch. "Please Hutch, I don't want to hurt her. I won't be responsible.. PLEASE."

Hutch looked at Jamie. "Please let go. He's not kidding."

She did as requested.

"Dave, can we talk privately for a while? I won't touch you if that will make you feel better. We can talk about why you left the VA first, then decide what we want to discuss later."

Starsky looked at Hutch with pleading eyes, but Hutch wouldn't look at him.

"You promised you'd try Starsk." Hutch reminded. "I'll stay in the house with you two. I'll never be more then a yell away. I promise."

"If you're comfortable with Hutch hearing what you have to say, he can stay." Jamie tried to put him at ease. "I don't mind. That's your decision."

"No. Some things I can't talk about with him here. I did some things I'm not proud of." It was Starsky's turn to not look at Hutch. He pointed to the right. "Ok, bedroom."

Hutch pat his friend on the stomach as he passed. "I'm proud of you for getting help buddy."

"We'll see if you're still proud of me when it's all over." Starsky and Jamie went into the bedroom and he closed the door.

Hutch couldn't get past the words his buddy had used.. all over. This was something he'd have to live with the rest of his life. The only way it would be over is if Starsky died. A cold chill ran down his back.

He went to the desk in the living room and flipped on his computer. After it finally booted up, he signed on to the police network and searched the APBs. He entered Starsky's name and sighed gratefully when he came up with nothing. He searched again using just Starsky's physical description and came up with a wavy haired brunette, but Starsky was older then the 25-27 listed in the description. Next he searched Missing Persons. Again, nothing. He logged off, picked up the receiver, and pressed one of the speed dial buttons.

"Hi Doris, this is Captain Hutchinson. Will you tell Lieutenant Morrison that I'm staying home today. Yes, I'll be fine, I just need some bed rest. Thank you."

Jamie opened the door and looked around. "Hutch?"

"Over here." Hutch stood up. "What can I do for you?"

"I don't normally do this, but I know you two are close. Can I share our discussions with Dave? I think it might help him trust me."

"Sure. I'll do whatever it takes to get him well."

"Does that include breakfast?" She smiled. "I'm starving, and I think I've heard his stomach growl at least twice now."

"Over easy or scrambled?"

"That's why you were my favorite patient.. over easy."

"Scrambled" Starsky shouted from within the bedroom.

Hutch ushered her back in the room and stuck his head in. Starsky was sitting Indian style against the headboard with a pillow in his lap. Her book bag was splayed out at the other end of the bed. "I'll knock when it's ready. Thought you might like to know, Starsk.. There's no APB or missing persons out on you. I can't vouch for the military, but they haven's shared the info with the police department."

"That's a relief." A puzzled look came across his face. "Wonder why I haven't been officially reported missing?"

Hutch shrugged, then turned to Jamie, "Bacon or sausage?"

"Yes." She answered.

"A woman after my own heart." Starsky unfolded his feet.

Jamie recognized its small meaning, he was beginning to relax.

Hutch shut the door behind him and went about the task of making breakfast. He made Jamie and himself 2 eggs over easy, 2 sausage patties, 3 pieces of bacon, and toast. He made one egg scrambled, 1 sausage patty, 2 pieces of bacon and a single slice of toast for Starsky. He also put out fresh strawberry preserves that Doris had made for all the Homicide detectives.

He knocked on the door and announced breakfast was ready. Shortly after, they joined Hutch at the table. They were both quiet and he could see that Starsky had been crying. He thought she might have been crying too, but he wasn't sure. She wasn't wearing makeup, so there was no mascara to run. They ate in silence for a while before Hutch spoke up.

"Doc treating you all right Starsk?"

"Uh, yeah." He said stuffing the last of his breakfast into his mouth. Looking at his cleaned plate, he smiled. "Thanks Hutch, for everything."

"Is that all you're gonna feed him? He could use a few pounds.." Jamie spoke up. She started to stand but Starsky stopped her.

"No, no.. It was perfect. Hutch did it on purpose."

Jamie looked puzzled, so Starsky took off his shirt. His bullet wounds and surgical scars from Gunther were as tan as the rest of his stomach, but they were still obvious.

"He lost a portion of his stomach and some intestines from the bullets. He can't eat as much as he used to. He has to eat more often." Hutch spoke up. "In most instances he can't finish his meals. I thought it might be a feeling of accomplishment if he could. That's why his was smaller."

"Now I understand why you were partners for so long." Jamie looked at Hutch, "You know.. when you first started coming to me, I have to admit.. I didn't understand, one, how much you meant to each other, and two, how seriously injured David was. In hindsight, I feel there should have been more sessions. I treated you as associates, rather then brothers."

"I have no regrets Jamie, so don't you." Hutch took her hand and winked at her. "I feel good. Now.. If we can get Starsky feeling good, I'll be the happiest man alive."